Wasabi

My eldest daughter (4.5) is a picky eater. Like many parents, I struggle to get a decent amount of vegetables into her; especially the green ones. For months she will love something and then, out of no where, she'll declare it "yucky". I have to be creative and patient. Most of all, I cannot engage into a power struggle with her. And, yes, this is incredibly difficult at times.

The upside of her pickiness is her willingness to try almost all foods. I attribute this to our rule that she never has to eat anything she doesn't like. We'll even let her spit things out. All she has to do is try it.

I used to be an avid sushi lover. When she was a baby, I went out of my way to make sure she was comfortable eating sushi restaurants. We even asked that a good friend of the family buy her a book about sushi for her first birthday. She eats the same thing every time we go, but the point is that there are items on the menu in a sushi restaurant that she wants to eat.

Tonight, she asked to go for sushi. It was just the two of us and although I wasn't really in the mood, what Mom in their right mind turns down their 4 year old asking to go for sushi? As usual, she ate her avocado roll. To be honest, I wasn't really paying attention to her. I think I was daydreaming and looking out the window when I looked up and see the panicked expression all of her face. Her eyes are watering and clearly, she's scared. I look down and see that she's eaten the entire glob of wasabi. Poor kid, she thought it was avocado.

In the seconds that proceeded running to the bathroom and cleaning out her mouth, I had another "a-ha" moment when it comes to kids and eating. I've always said part of the reason kids are picky is because they aren't working from the same frame of reference we are. I can look at a red pepper and know that I don't like it. You can tell me there is dill in something, and I know I don't want it. I know that Indian food doesn't work well for me. Kids can't do this. They HAVE to trust us to guide them. If we constantly force them to eat things they don't like, why would they willingly eat "just one bite?"

If you want your kids to trust you when it comes to food, you can't force them to eat. All you can do is model the behavior you want them to have, and trust that after seeing you eat your spinach 4000 times, they'll eventually ask for some, too. Just make sure you remember to teach them the difference between wasabi and avocado.

Do you have a picky eater?

I can’t tell you how many people ask me what to do with kids that are picky eaters, or how to introduce solids to ensure a child won’t be picky later. It is a complex question that doesn’t have a simple answer. I can pretty much assure you that your child WILL be picky at some point, but that doesn’t mean you have to throw in the towel and serve chicken nuggets every night. Here are some of my best suggestions on how to handle the picky child:

1. If you have a baby, I encourage people to think through how they introduce solids and make it FUN! Start with orange vegetables, which are slightly sweet and make sure that you have a child who consistently eats vegetables, fruit, whole grains and legumes before you introduce addictive carbohydrates like puffs, cheerios, bagels and crackers. On the same note, go through the yummy foods before you experiment with tastes that are often acquired, like the green vegetables. Feel free to mix those green veggies (not before 9 months) with something sweet. Apples, millet and spinach or kale, quinoa and banana.

2. Let your child play with their food. Kids learn through exploration and that can consist of all different things. Food doesn’t have to be scary. Allowing a child to finger paint with food (preferably in a controlled environment, not a 5 star restaurant) allows them to feel the food, and maybe even taste the food by licking their fingers. You have to remember that you KNOW you don’t like certain foods because you know what everything tastes like already. Children don’t have that advantage. As a result, they have a tendency to be skeptical. That’s OK. (Repeat after me, “It is OK if my kid did not eat .”

3. How long did it take you to learn to like beer? Or red wine? Or grapefruits? Personally, I had to learn to like all of those things. Heck, I’m still working on red wine. Remember that next time your child spits out their and claims, “I don’t like that!”.

4. Cook with your kids! Trust me, I *know* it makes things go much more slowly and makes the process a lot messier than if you just do it yourself. However, getting kids involved with their food is an important step in making food more accessible. They are so much more likely to eat something they’ve helped prepare.

5. Make it FUN! I’m a huge advocate for shapes and rainbows. Make owl faces out of their pancakes. Be creative. Kids will literally, eat it up.

6. Set a good example. So many people want their kids to eat their vegetables when they won’t do so themselves. Sit down to a meal with your kids and let them see how much you enjoy your own healthy foods. It might not happen overnight, but, trust me, they’re watching!